Saturday, September 8, 2012

My first Sands meeting

Last week I went along to our local Sands support group meeting.  The meetings are held monthly and are there for anyone affected by the loss of a baby to go along and have a chat, to meet other bereaved parents and to obtain support from trained Sands befrienders.

I wasn't really sure what to expect from the meeting, so I went with an open mind.  Almost three hours later, I left with my shoulders feeling a little less heavy and my heart a little lighter.

These were people who knew.  These people, mums and dads, knew and understood the pain and heartbreak of losing a baby.  No explanation was needed - there was a mutual understanding amongst the group.  A collective feeling of "I know how you feel".  Eyes not full of pity - but full of compassion.  How refreshing to feel not quite so alone and to be with people who really did appreciate just what it feels like to lose a baby.

I made a connection with one of the other mums at the meeting and we met up during the week for a coffee. We talked, we cried, we shared the stories of our babies.  Our beautiful baby girls who we miss every day.  I wish I could explain how helpful I found it, to be in the company of another mother who felt the same as me - the same regrets, longing, heartache, fears, hope.  I felt supported.  I felt less alone.

The support I am taking, from all around me gives me strength.  The strength is what I need to move forward - to keep going, to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Bit by bit, we're picking up the pieces of the life that was shattered, and re-fashioning them into the life we'll live from now on.

Thank you for reading.

Best Wishes
Debbie

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